When Going Rogue Goes Bad.

“I made it.”

Yesterday was Friday – Binge Day – and I did not binge.

But what made it even more momentous was that I had a horrible day.

I work for a global corporation. I decided to “go rogue” and not follow the established plan on a high-exposure project.

“I don’t need to do all those steps!” I thought. “The person who put that plan together always makes things more complicated.”

It turned into a mess and got all screwed up.

So much for my better idea.

My first instinct was to lie, go back to my desk, delete the document that contained the procedure and act innocent.

After talking to my therapist, however, I decided that I was going to do something different: I’m going to act like an adult.

On Monday I plan to meet privately with my boss, explain what happened and come prepared with a countermeasures plan.

This is new behavior. I have a belief that I need to be perfect. That I’m not allowed to make mistakes or ask questions and obviously I didn’t understand the repercussions of not following the plan of someone who actually knew what they’re doing.

When I talked to my sponsor about the situation this morning, she said that my thinking has been the crux of the problem with my eating. I don’t like taking the directions of somebody else, so I come up with my own plan.

And disaster most likely ensues.

OK, this time I hope it will be a lesson learned.

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