It Was An Attack Without Mercy

“I went down the rabbit hole of negative thinking.”

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Yesterday was Sunday and I spent the day alone, preparing for a two-hour test for a new position in my company. I was fine for about the first three hours, getting a lot done, feeling good about my work.

And then I started to think.

At first my head just sprinkled the random negative thought at me …

You’re so lonely. So sad. It’s hard being you.

And then it gained momentum until it was an Attack Without Mercy and I went right down the rabbit hole:

  • Everybody hates you.
  • You’re so fat now. Look at those jiggly thighs! Just look!! 
  • You’re such a loser.
  • You might as well binge.
  • Your neighbors think you’re crazy.
  • Everybody is talking about you.

By the time I went to bed, I was a drunken obese woman living on the streets looking for a way to kill herself.

That’s how my mind works. (Yes, really.)

Thankfully I know enough to realize that this was just a Hard Day. And Hard Days don’t require a binge, or even extra food to survive them. They just require that that we ride it out because this, too, shall pass.

I got a good night’s sleep and woke up this morning in my right mind.

And to help you get through your own Hard Days, I want to share the below essay from the DailyOm, which always puts things into a new perspective.

Hard Days by Madisyn Taylor

A hard day can sometimes be a great teacher if we stop for reflection.

We all have days that seem endlessly difficult and hard. On these days, it is as if the odds are stacked against us and we just can’t get a break as one challenging situation follows another. We may feel like we’re standing in the ocean getting hit by wave after wave, never able to get a full breath. Sometimes it’s necessary or worth it to stay in the fray and work our way through. Other times, the best idea is to go home and take the breath we need in order to carry on.

If the only choice is to get through it, a hard day can be a great teacher. It will eventually end and we can look back on it, taking pride in the stamina, courage, and ingenuity it took to hold our ground. We may also look back and see how we could have done things differently. This knowledge will be valuable when we face hard days in the future.

Trust your gut as you’re deciding whether to work through it, and know that sometimes a timely retreat is the best way to ensure a positive outcome. Getting space can remind us that external circumstances are not the whole picture. Once we catch our breath and re-center ourselves, we will be able to determine our next move.

With a little perspective, we may even find the inner resources to change our attitude about what’s happening. We may begin to see that what we saw as hardships are actually opportunities. As our attitude changes for the better, our actions and the circumstances will follow suit.

Sometimes all that’s needed is a good night’s sleep. No one is immune to having a hard day and these are usually the times we can learn the most. If we can find it in our hearts to examine the day, and maybe make one small change in perception, we can ease our pain and greet the next day that much wiser.

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