Keto: Weigh day + Learning to be hungry

“Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.” – Dan Bennett

It was time to weigh myself.

From the tightness of my pants, the largess of my stomach and the extra padding on my butt, I knew the news wasn’t going to be good.

Unfortunately I was right: I’ve binged my way up 10 pounds in three weeks.

I actually broke out my calculator for this one. In the month of January, I binged 12 days out of the 31, making that a 38% binge rate.

This is where dieting has taken me.

Screen Shot 2019-01-03 at 4.56.10 AM

The quest to be skinny right now has led to extreme, opposite and equal binges. If I’m going to be completely honest, I got off easy with 10 pounds. My binges are so extreme and highly caloric that I could have easily gained twice that amount.

When I started Keto, I knew this had to be a different kind of journey; one that would address the physical issues I have of fluctuating blood sugar, chronic candida, mood swings, etc. but also be sustainable.

What’s interesting is how not upset I am the weight gain (now don’t get me wrong, I’m not happy about it) but I also know this is not the end of the world. Weight gain is a symptom of a deeper issue (chronic dieting) and can be corrected.

So I tuck the number away and use it as proof that in order to move into a different type of relationship with food, dieting has to go.

I’m also learning how to be hungry.

This may sound odd and antithetical to what I just said, but hear me out. I was put on my first diet when I was four years old. And it was a rough diet and I was hungry a lot (click here to read the full, sad story).

So now, decades later, when I feel hungry, the little kid inside freaks the fuck out: I’m going to die! I’ll never eat again! I’m going to starve to death!

hungry

Not only was that not true when I was four, but it’s not true today. I’ve never been in danger of starving to death.

But tell my little kid that.

So now I’m all about the self-talk, to self-soothe while not shoving food unnecessarily into my mouth.

Probably something I should have learned years ago, but what the heck – better late than never.

# # #

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s