“You take it on faith, you take it to the heart … the waiting is the hardest part” – Tom Petty
I’ve been doing Keto for three weeks. I’m solidly in ketosis, working out almost daily, counting my macros … and my body pretty much looks the same. Still twenty pounds overweight, still experiencing digestion problems, still peering into a puffy face every morning.
How are those expectations working out for you?
I expected instant weight loss (okay, it’s true that I did lose five pounds in my first week but it wasn’t twenty). I expected to magically turn into myself as I was in 2017 when I was reed-thin and working out voraciously several times a week.
I expected the past two years of off-and-on smoking, terrible grief from a divorce, and work stress to vanish from my face. Now, every time I look in the mirror and see minor improvements rather than instant, drastic change, I feel frustrated and disappointed.
And then I think this.
Fuck it. This is too hard. This isn’t working. I’ve been working my ass off all month and this is all I get? I might as well fucking eat.
But as we speak, there’s not one, but two! cakes in the company kitchen, and I’m not eating them. Why? Because I’m learning to retrain my thoughts, to not react to every single thing that enters my brain. It’s my faulty thinking that sends me straight back into the donut shop, a place I never want to visit again.
So then I think this.
Keto is working. In the past three weeks:
- I have not called in sick due to binging.
- I signed up for a dating site and have been chatting with several potential suitors.
- I did some “I Love Me” self care and got a facial peel.
- I showed up to every single appointment I’ve had this month.
- I exercise almost every day.
- I feel happy most of the time.
- I wake up, do my spiritual work and start the day centered and grounded.
- I’m still wearing the same clothes but they fit again.
Plus, it’s only been three weeks for Christ’s sake.
Real, lasting, significant change takes time, effort, and persistence. As Mr. Petty says, it’s the waiting that’s the hardest part. My body is going to need some time to heal, but heal it will.
Part of my recovery is detoxing from the “instant fix” mentality born from a million unsuccessful diets. What I’m doing now is long-term, sustainable and will deliver many, many payoffs – but not all of them today.
So the work cakes will remain uneaten by me and I will stay the course, way-yay-ting as the changes come in due time.
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