It’s a Poor Choice and I’m Doing it Anyway.

I have to make a decision. In an earlier post, I wrote about my friend Diane and our toxic friendship.

NOW what did Diane do?

Diane is throwing a birthday party for our mutual friend Ariel. As grateful as I am for being included, I am more resentful of having to decide whether to attend a party in the middle of a pandemic.

Thanks, Diane.

So, in the words of MC Hammer, I am going to break it down.

Here are my choices: …

I DON’T GO.

  • Consequences: I feel left out; hurt Ariel’s feelings; piss off Diane; feel lonely and left out; probably won’t get invited to future gatherings.
  • Benefits: I stay safe from COVID; I protect my food recovery.

I GO (WITHOUT MASK).

  • Consequences: I risk getting and transmitting a virus that kills people; I risk binge-eating; I bond even further with people I’m trying to run from.
  • Benefits: I eat and drink comfortably; I am liked.

I GO (WITH MASK).

  • Consequences: I feel uncomfortable since this is not a mask-wearing crowd; I feel awkward trying to eat or drink; I risk my abstinence.
  • Benefits: I stay safe; I get the smug, self-righteous pleasure of making everyone feel uncomfortable.

WHAT I SHOULD DO.

Not go to the party. Duh. Stay home, stay safe and learn to live with uncomfortable feelings that arrive when I make decisions that are in the best interest of myself, not other people. Develop some long-overdue emotional maturity and integrity.

WHAT I’M REALLY GOING TO DO.

I’m going to the fucking party. You know I am. And I’m probably come home all kinds of pissed off and wanting to eat.

Fine.

Well, since I am going to go, in the next blog, I am going to put together a game plan to ensure I protect my safety, sanity and recovery. Because, in all honesty, nothing is worth bingeing over. Especially not a party.

# # #

Comments

One comment on “It’s a Poor Choice and I’m Doing it Anyway.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s