“Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. But if you do, make new ones. Life is too short to make the wrong choice twice.” ― Joyce Rachelle
So I’m going to go to the party, which I wrote about in my last post. You know I am. Is this a good idea, to go to a party for someone I don’t like in the middle of a pandemic?
No, it’s not.
Am I going to do it anyway?
Yes, I am.
Here’s some good news: I am a person who does her best to learn from mishaps and do better next time.
So let’s revisit the last party I went to, which ironically was at the same house, thrown by the same person, who is, of course, Diane. At that particular event, I started binging at the party, followed by a trip to Trader Joe’s and then two full days of eating, which took me a week to recover.
What I did at the last party that set me up to binge:
- I arrived resentful and blaming. I had agreed to contribute money I didn’t really want to and was pissed when I found out the hostess – who was, of course, Diane – had collected $350 to fund this unnecessarily extravagant event.
- I arrived hungry. I had eaten my snack at the usual 3:00 pm time and by the time dinner was served, around 7:00 pm, I was ravenous. I loaded up my plate with salad and chicken, ate it, went back for more … and then more … and then never stopped eating for the rest of the party.
- I discarded my food plan. Because I was at a party, “just this time” I was going to have white rice, which led to pita bread – neither of which are on my plan – which then led to sneaking a few cookies, and then a cupcake, and then putting a few chocolates in my pocket and shoving them in my mouth in the backyard.
- I hung around the dessert table. Much like a pervert loitering around a schoolyard, I made a point to always just happen to be next to the dessert table, where I watched everyone eat the expensive, high-end pastries while I sipped a Diet Coke and felt sorry for myself. So, of course, afterward I bought all the Trader Joe’s versions of those foods and ate myself sick afterward.
What I’m going to do differently at the next party.
- I am taking responsibility. I am making an adult decision to attend this party. I could have said no, but I said yes. And I will wear a mask. And I will make everyone uncomfortable and I will sit with that.
- I’ll arrive not hungry. I’m going to time my meals so they fall later in the day so by the time dinner is served, I won’t be ravenous. I know what’s being served so I’m comfortable not bringing my own food because I’ll be able to eat at the party.
- I’m sticking to my food plan. I know my plan and I will not deviate. I’ve learned my lesson that food plans need to go with me to the party not left at home “just this one time.”
- I’m avoiding the dessert table. Fortunately, I know the setup of the house, so I intend to spend the majority of my time in the living room. I’ll sing to the recipient when the cake arrives and then leave shortly thereafter. I don’t need to stick around and watch everyone eat cake and ice cream. Why?
So that’s the plan. Yes, it’s better if I don’t go, but I am going so I’ll use this as an opportunity to learn, grow and not allow my disease to take over.
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